Unfriending Facebook

Do you remember those days of MySpace when you'd unknowingly be friends with some guy named 'Tom'? You know, that guy that supposedly owned the company but that you had to be friends with? I unfriended that guy. Or unliked ... or whatever it was called on MySpace.

Yesterday I unfriended Facebook.

It's a lot less dramatic than it sounds. Or maybe it's more dramatic. I could say that (temporarily) deleting my Facebook account is so I can learn to be more productive or be on the computer less frequently -- but that's hardly it. I wish it was. Those are admirable reasons ... and they are partly true. I really should be spending less time online and a little more time with my friends and frenemies, Treadmill, Homework, Beach, and Sun. But the truth is, I've been online just about as much, just not on Facebook.

The real reason is, I've just become a little too sensitive. I've always been oversensitive. I have always had a hard time controlling my negative thoughts towards others, and I constantly overanalyze what others probably aren't thinking about or saying to me. This was exponentially increased on Facebook. (I've actually noticed I am less stressed in the 30 hours or so since I unfriended Facebook.) I've noticed more and more that snarky comments and miscommunication is an epidemic on Facebook, and something in which I get far too involved, enough to let it ruin my day sometimes.

The other half of the reason is my over-transparency. While I think it's fun to share random things like, "Ugh I hate doing the dishes," too many of my more personal thoughts have been shared in a flippant, hit-and-run kind of way (part of which can be solved with a blog). I also, since coming off from Facebook, have thought of random things and start to reach for my phone to post a new status... and when that obviously doesn't happen, I realize how mundane and silly my new 'status' would have been anyway.

I thought I'd try a thought experiment. I haven't really decided how long it will last, but here's my general idea. I'm starting to keep a journal of things I would have posted on Facebook. Then, I'll let the thoughts marinate in the pages of rationality for a while and decide if it really was something worthy of letting over 300 people in on (let's be honest - most of us probably consistently talk to 10% or fewer of those on our friends list).

I'm also going to, in the meantime, spend a little bit of time in the real world remembering what it was like when communication was easier to decipher -- you know, when people used facial expressions, real smiles, and sarcasm and jokes were heard and not read with black text on white background in already hostile territory.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the only one who has this oversensitivity, over-sharing, overanalyzing, obsessive problem. I doubt it. I'm not asking you to delete your Facebook too... but, if you are willing to admit you're even a bit like me, maybe you can try the journal/thought experiment too. I'm actually excited about it. It will be interesting to reexamine my thoughts before posting them permanently on the internet. You may also try writing your about-to-be snarky comments down too before posting them ;)

Now you may be wondering, "Why is blogging any different? It's just as public." Yes. It is. But I've blogged before, and while I could get 10 comments in ten minutes on a status on Facebook that said, "I got my hair trimmed today," my blogs were commented on only by those who actually cared to brave their way through several paragraphs. I also like that blogging takes time. There's no such thing as a quick 8 paragraph essay, but there sure are a lot of quickly posted big-time-mistake 8 word statuses ("I think people who like [politician] are stupid.") It also gives the writer an opportunity to explain what they mean, and the reader a little more time to think about what they're commenting, since you generally have to go to another page, type out the comment, sign into google or some other various network, type out the word in the captcha, then actually click 'POST'... as opposed to typing, 'I think you're an idiot' then accidentally pressing the enter on our keyboard before we have deleted what we never meant to actually post! Ok, perhaps that was a little bit of an exaggeration, but I digress :)

Anyway, please know that I don't feel superior to anyone for having taken myself off of Facebook. I actually do see the merit in using Facebook, as it allowed me to be connected with my grandma, aunts, cousins, and random friends from my old hometown that I may otherwise have not been connected with. It also helped keep me up-to-date on campaigns and news. But I know that for me, at this time, Facebook isn't for me. And I'll stress that this is temporary, but I just don't know how temporary. It may be a week, or it might be much, much longer. Given the relief from stress I've felt shows just how unhealthily emotionally invested I was ... and I may require a longer break than some of you (I know a day or two is good enough for most people!)

All right, I apologize for the long post. If anyone reads this, let me know if you've accepted the journal challenge, and your progress. Good luck!


Just as a point of interest, here's an essay I found with a few other, supporting reasons not to be on Facebook ...

"If you are not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold."