My first four months of college, I was a declared psychology major. I was sure I was going to be a counselor, with an office in my home just like a counselor I had gone to in junior high. I would take clients but still be a stay at home mom. It would be perfect. But psychology really wasn't for me. Only one psychology class proved to me that psychology wasn't just about the quirks of human beings and how to help them.
... But a class I was also taking my first semester of college got me interested in changing my major, though I never officially majored in... English. My first college English professor was so fantastic; I still consider her a wonderful mentor. She inspired me and immediately recognized that I had deep potential as a writer. However, a class I took my second semester of college proved to me that just because you can excel at writing does not mean you should be an English major. Writing is, surprisingly enough, actually used in more majors than just English ... and I hated creative writing more than I can possibly tell you (let's just say a good or bad professor makes all the difference ... this became abundantly clear to me that second semester in my creative writing course. That said, I still don't think creative writing is my forte.)
I left BYU-Idaho after that first year of college and took about a year off, besides two classes I took in the interim year in which I worked rather than went to school full-time. One of those classes was with a teacher I will forever remember and look up to ... Professor Miller and my American Politics class. This class I can quite honestly say changed my outlook on learning and my life. Though I never declared Political Science as a major, I have loved it and always enjoyed it since. This class, if nothing else, convinced me to go back to school full-time. This time, that fall, entering MJC, I went into my college experience a little more open minded, and a little less goal-oriented (besides the goal of knowing I needed to transfer somewhere.)
Then I took a class with Professor Vallance, with whom I am still in contact. Her history class was so enjoyable!! I have never taken another history class so fun and educating, nor as memorable. She said the first day of class something like, "History doesn't have to be boring! These people had crazy drama... love affairs, family drama, humor, tragedy ... these were real people with real stories and lives!" She made that so clear the entire semester... I have still yet to have taken a history class so enjoyable as hers... nor has there been another class like hers where I have retained so much information.
And so, though I promised I would be more open-minded this time around, I decided that I would become a history major. Since you can't really declare 'majors' at a junior college, I didn't officially declare there, but I knew that was where I was headed. I knew that I wanted to be the next "Professor Vallance" that inspired inquiring minds and lit a fire of the love of learning in her students.
... And I have stayed a history major since... But as many of you know, it has been a tumultuous 2.5 years at UC San Diego. After only one quarter (which was quite disappointing in the history department, except for one professor who has since moved back to his home country of Germany), I decided I would stay a history major but pursue a biology minor to hopefully become a nurse or a doctor. My reasons behind wanting to become a doctor were personal, but ... the short version is that I felt a deep sense of moral obligation to this path. I dreaded, though tried to be optimistic and view the future as a challenge, the idea of a ton of math classes, sciences I'd never tried before, and so much extra effort.
I pursued that course, pre-med officially, for the last year and a half. I called myself what inspired the name of this blog ... 'The Renaissance Girl'. I actually took the idea for this name from Professor Vallance's history class; the idea of a Renaissance Man is someone who excels at many areas of art, sciences, and sports. I jokingly would tell people I was a 'Renaissance Girl' when they would give me a puzzled look when I said I was a 'history major pursuing pre-med.'
This past year, not only did I help found an ancient history club at UCSD with one of the only professors who has inspired me here (Professor Miano, who unfortunately has not been given more teaching posts at UCSD or I would be taking his classes every quarter), but, as I am sure almost none of you have been able to ignore, even if you didn't know me at the time, I helped run the Ron Paul campaign on my campus, culminating in my meeting him and introducing him with a speech in front of 6000 people. Politics aside, people were impressed with my speaking skills and many encouraged me to get into public policy or politics... and so law school, which had somehow always been in the back of my mind since being in love with 'lawyer shows' since I was 10, came to the forefront.
When I was honest with myself, my science classes weren't going that well. I had done okay, certainly not badly. But A-'s and mostly B's aren't what your average, and definitely not good, medical schools are looking for. And the more I took science classes, the more I realized that I was a 'learn and dump' kind of learner in those classes, which, for the MCAT, will absolutely not work. Alongside that, I realized I was just really not that excited about going to medical school. Another huge influence in my life is my sister, Rebecca, and seeing her at home with her 4 kids made me realize that there is absolutely no way I will have that in at least the next 11-15 years if I go to medical school ... 1 year off after graduation, 4 years of medical school, 7 years of internship and residency, and a life full of being called into deliver babies at 3am on a Sunday morning do not a good opportunity for a family make.
(Let me interject that I know Law isn't exactly the most conducive to a family life either... but in most cases, a lawyer does not work 20 hour shifts from 6am on Saturday until 2 am Sunday morning.)
This quarter, Fall 2012, I decided I would try both things and decide what my future would look like. I continued on my pre-med path, starting organic chemistry and taking more biology, while also taking a political science class... and yet, perhaps though only in the back of my mind, or perhaps just because it was never for me all along, things didn't go well in the sciences. I decided I absolutely hate biology, and organic chemistry, though a fun challenge, was more difficult than I had imagined. I had excelled at general chemistry ... the mathematical chemistry (surprisingly, I am decently good at math and thank, in part, Professor Meyer, at MJC, for my confidence and ability to look at math like a challenge), but organic chemistry didn't sit well with me. Though I got a B on my first midterm, I ended up having to drop the class anyway due to a bad bout of bronchitis.
But it didn't really matter ... my mind was made up by then, however subconsciously. I had attended a Law School Fair on campus one day, and I immediately fell in love with the idea of going to Duke Law, though I also talked to a few other law schools, including UCLA and New England Law. I got home that day with all my different pamphlets and Law Magazines and was... so excited. I called several family members and told them all about everything I had learned from speaking to the schools, and I took this picture, and wrote ...
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| "Getting excited even though my application process is another year away! Gathering the info is fun! :D I think I'm making the right decision to go law instead of medicine. #lawschool" |
I'm realizing now... that it's okay that I've changed my mind a few times. I've explored, I've learned, I've thought about what I want, and what's right for me, and what's not. What I can honestly say now is that I am so very glad that I pursued the pre-med idea for a while... but, though a worthy, lofty goal, it is not the right path for me. I felt a sense of moral obligation... but never excitement. Many times, I got down on myself for not being the best, and for sometimes, not even being average. But law school... law school excites and enflames my soul with motivation and joy for school and learning again. A goal of law school allows me to continue excelling in my undergraduate studies at what I am good at and enjoy... while also pursuing what I know I will enjoy as a career. I will have to take a year off, but I am planning on taking the LSAT in June and applying next fall... and already I am wishing I was enrolling at Duke (yes, that is my current obsession just now!) next fall instead of two years from now.
That day will come, however. And this time, I feel like I've finally settled into knowing what I really, really want and can see myself doing... and excelling at. And in my mind and opinion, that is a cause for excitement... and joy. I'm excited about the idea of moving to the east coast, getting out of California, and exploring somewhere new; I'm excited about the idea of learning about law and justice, and what makes social order and much of the world tick; I'm excited about making a difference, about being able to be both passionate and effective in my pursuits... and really, I just can't wait for that next chapter of my life to begin.
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| Taken today ... "I want to go here so bad. I want to explore other options [for schools] too but I'm kind of focused on this now..." |
p.s. If you're interested in continuing to read my long life story regarding my college experience ... here is a previous post I wrote several years ago before really knowing what life would be like at UCSD. You can find that here.
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